Chef Only Uses Blender

Chef Only Uses Blender 

"Why complicate life? 

Once food's eaten, ends 

up in pieces anyway." 

"I invented the smoothie." 

"One kitchen, one blender." 

"Bring your suffering 

children to me, and I 

will serve them baby 

food fit for an emperor." 

"Dribble designs 

are my forte…" 

"Place settings include 

plate, spoon, napkin, 

tumbler, nasturtiums." 

"Knives out throughout." 

"If I don't have to 

blend, I arrange." 

"Drool is cool." 

"You say borscht, she 

says goulash, I say 

let's eat!" 

"I prefer not to do 

tableside service. 

The blender resonates 

with the dining room's 

crystal." 

"None of our wine 

stewards are qualified 

to use the blender." 

"Leave your dentures 

on your nightstand! You 

won't need them here." 

(this is a cute idea, but won't survive hecklers)